Melissa Murphy

You’re in love, you’re content and you’re comfortable with each other.  But is being part of a couple making you pile on the pounds? Melissa Murphy finds out…

When you become part of a couple, your lifestyle can often change. Be it romantic meals out, cosy takeaways in or dinner parties with friends, a couple’s social life can often revolve around food.

When we are single, it’s customary to spend more time on our appearance. We may go to the gym more regularly, spend more money on clothes and generally take more interest in the way we look.

During the early days of being together, this is likely to be maintained but things may start to change once couples get used to each other.

Nicky Lawson, expert coach at David Lloyd Leisure says: “Many single women want to look good and tend to diet more, buy more clothes and are generally more body-conscious. It’s common during the first year of a relationship that both men and women are still trying to ‘impress’ their partner but after the year mark it’s common for weight to creep on as soon as they fall into the comfort zone.”

Currently, there is little research into this area but it’s a problem personal trainers are all too familiar with.

Amelia Watts, exercise specialist for Benefit Personal Training (www.benefitpersonaltraining.co.uk), says: ‘’It’s all too easy for the pounds to slowly creep on when you become settled in a relationship, especially if you’re living with your partner.”

What happens?
There are a number of reasons why you might start to put on weight or find it hard to stick to a healthy eating plan when you’re in a relationship. Some of this can be purely down to lifestyle changes. Where you used to go to the gym in the evening, you now stay in together. You eat out more, you try new foods, the fridge suddenly becomes filled with unhealthy snacks and you find yourself tucking in because they are readily available.

Something else to watch out for is all portion sizes. When it comes to calorie requirements, men and women are not equal so avoid falling into the trap of dishing up identical portions.

‘’One of the main weight-gain culprits when you start living with your partner is the temptation to eat the same portions as him. The average woman needs 2,000 calories a day, while men require 2,500,” says Amelia. “So, if you mirror his portion size your waistline is likely to expand. A great tip to help you re-adjust your portion size is to use a medium-sized dinner plate compared to your partner’s larger plate.  Then, even if you fill it up, you’re still exercising portion control.”

What you eat
You also need to consider the content of your meals. If you used to eat mainly pasta and salad but your partner likes pie and chips then you need to work out a suitable compromise. Do you find yourself eating the same foods as your partner because they don’t like your healthier options and it’s easier if you both eat the same thing?

It’s easy to take on unhealthy habits, which could take a long time to change. Try to find some middle ground with dishes that are balanced and that you both enjoy. If your partner really won’t budge in his food tastes, you may have to consider eating separate meals. Although this requires more effort, it will benefit your waistline in the long-term.

Nicky Lawson explains: “There is a tendency for women, and men for that matter, to become comfortable in their relationship and feel more relaxed with their partner and their appearance.  A large percentage of couples go out for dinner and go clubbing less and compromise with their food at home. For example, if the boyfriend doesn’t like salads the girlfriend will settle with his food choice.”

So how can you enjoy being part of a couple without it disturbing your health and fitness?

“When you eat out in a restaurant together, curb the temptation to raid the bread basket and avoid plumping for three courses just because your boyfriend is,” advises Amelia. “Instead, select two courses and try to choose the healthier options on the menu, such as the fish or salad.  A sneaky tip that will help you avoid over-eating during your romantic dinner is to drink a pint of water before you go out, as this will fill you up.

‘’If your relationship has reached the stage where you tend to stay in more than go out, try and keep a lid on the amount of snacking that accompanies cosy nights in front of the TV,” she says. “Ban sweet treats from the house and instead opt for healthier snacks such as a small portion of salted popcorn, which is low in fat and calories.”

Emotional reasons
If you analyse how your lifestyle has changed as a couple, you can probably take steps to remedy it. But what about the less obvious emotional reasons behind weight gain in a relationship? Does part of you feel that you no longer have to worry about your weight; you feel comfortable together and know your partner will love you regardless of size?

If your partner is not supportive of your healthy eating plans, then question why. Is it because they don’t share the same food tastes or are there any insecurities behind their resistance to you losing weight?

Sometimes, you can just feel so comfortable with each other that this new relaxation causes weight gain.

‘’Another weight gaining trap that you can easily fall into is feeling too comfortable with your partner – safe in the knowledge that he loves you just the way you are,” says Amelia.  “So avoid complacency and keep the flame alive and your figure neat, by treating yourself to some sexy undies every so often.  This is a fantastic incentive to stick to a healthy eating plan and exercise regime, as you’ll want to look your best in your lovely new lingerie.”

Happy hormones
Being part of a couple can mean the start of a new healthy life together and it’s ironic that we don’t always take care of ourselves when we’re at our happiest. Why not consider introducing active pastimes into your lives so you can stay healthy and spend quality time together? Try cycling, swimming, walks or even going to the gym together and you could end up being fitness buddies, supporting and encouraging each other to keep up the good work.

‘’Being part of a couple can help you to stay fit; your partner can motivate you to push yourself harder. It’s almost like having your own personal trainer there and a little bit of healthy competition between you goes a long way.”

There are plenty of benefits to working out together, and it isn’t just having a body each of you admires. The health benefits are not to be overlooked either.

‘’Going for a walk instead of curling up on the sofa is great as it not only provides gentle exercise and keeps you away from snacks, it offers the opportunity for you and your partner to enjoy an activity together, and forces you to chat and re-connect.,” explains Amelia. “Working out together can also strengthen your relationship by increasing the blood flow and the release of happy hormones!’’

So what are you waiting for? Kiss goodbye to love handles and start working out together for a happier, healthier future.

Exercises for couples

Squats (for legs, hips and abs)
1. Stand back to back with your feet slightly wider than shoulder width apart and with your hands linked.
2. Pull in your abs and walk your feet forward slightly so that you can lean against each other.
3. Use each other for support while you bend your knees and hips and lower towards the ground, until you have a 90 degree angle in your knees.  Slowly push up to standing and repeat 10-15 times.

Seated inner-thigh stretch
1. Sit opposite each other with your legs stretched wide. Place your feet touching each other’s.
2. Keep your back as straight as possible and lean forward holding hands.
3. One partner should gently pull the other partner closer to increase the stretch.  Swap over after holding for 30-60 seconds.